Ocean's Sirens

Glistening water, take me to a place far away.

I sit here with the sun,

waited for the wind.

Sit here with the pain, 

waiting for the honey. 

Watch the sand swiftly escapes my fingertips

Homebound. 

Driving down the open road and seeing the endless skies, it felt like we were inching toward the end of the earth. 

What a beautifully desolate place.

Although these photos were shot back in April, today's scorching weather made the memories float back into my mind. Montauk during this time of the year is the best. Winter is gone, and the Hamptons crowd has yet to arrive. Crisp, spring air fills our lungs and the town is full of delicious seafood and locals.

Just breathing with the simplest things.

I've always had people ask me, why do you have a blog? What's the goal of your blog? 

To be completely frank, a blogging career never interested me.

But I feel too much, think too much, and dream too much to not write, create, and share them with the world. My favorite designer and creative inspiration master James Victore once said: "in the particular, lies the universal." Somewhere somehow, these images and words could touch a soul or two. So in that sense, it's merely a fossilization my artistic existence.

I do it to remember that I'm alive.

 Wearing: Kimono by  Urban Outfitters , dress by  Opening Ceremony .

Wearing: Kimono by Urban Outfitters, dress by Opening Ceremony.

Photos by my adventure companion Marina Zakhrabova

Home Is The Wild

Something about my hesitation that weighs

Heavy as gravity. 

  Floods me with muddy chaos,

Dissipates.

So

I fight it.

And I fight it.

 

After two weeks of seemingly endless email exchanges, I finally got my website back! What a rude awakening it is getting back into this space, seeing the last time I wrote here was almost three months ago. 

Time slips away just like that. Quietly, tracelessly. 

As I've disappeared from the blogosphere, the last few months were spent in somewhat brutally honest self reflection and soul searching. Through days of watching my own internal dialogue, I saw hesitation, and lots of it. From things that were as small as how should I plan my errands, to whether I should commit my evening to reading, blogging or painting, I often found myself drifting in a vast sea of "what if's". The casual but mindless contemplations quickly turned into spiraling doubt, indecision, and somehow along the way, fear.

Maybe it was fear of doing the wrong thing. Or perhaps fear of doing the right thing. Fear of doing the hard thing. The things that will change my world which I've only dreamt of but had never prepared for in reality.

But living by fear is no way to live.

So fuck it if I'm doing the wrong thing, the right thing, or the hard thing. Socrates once said "to know thyself is the beginning to wisdom." I believe trusting myself is the first step. 

These photos were quickly snapped in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, right before the springtime rain down poured on us! But in those moments, there was minimal hesitation, only creative bliss.

 Wearing: Lace top by  Free People , leather shorts by  Urban Outfitters , boots by  Acne Studios . 

Wearing: Lace top by Free People, leather shorts by Urban Outfitters, boots by Acne Studios

 

Photos by my lovely friend Marina Zakhrabova.

The Creature Down Below

She knew imprisonment

because she also knew freedom.

I remember years ago when I was studying abroad in London, my friends and I

played a game of "what animal would you be?"

And they said I was a fish.

"Because like a fish, you're sometimes social and will gladly swim with a school of neighbors, but you have no problem going off on your own."

It's true, solitude recharges me. 

Perhaps I feel too many things that others cannot empathize with. But perhaps everyone does. We just pretend to have too much in common.

     I don't know about you, but things are sometimes more interesting in my head. 

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Modern lovers with nostalgic souls. 

Twirl me around

Under the jazz infused moonlight.

"With the world falling apart,

we pick this time to fall in love."

 

 

Compilation of photos from various collaborations: Photographs by Nuno Da Silva, Stephanie Severance, & Myself.